


The Hills

by Altavista



Category: Eminem (Musician), Rihanna (Musician), The Real Slim Shady - Eminem (Song)
Genre: Drama & Romance, F/M, Fanfiction, Hip Hop, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Los Angeles, Musicians, Song: The Hills (The Weeknd), Songfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 09:47:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28793412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Altavista/pseuds/Altavista
Summary: Eminem and Rihanna fanfiction inspired by the remix of The Weeknd's "The Hills" featuring Eminem.A short story is shown mostly from Marshall's perspective. The action is based around 2013.
Relationships: Eminem/Rihanna Fenty
Kudos: 6





	1. Escape to LA

The smooth sound of the wheels cruising down the highway was spreading around the empty scenery of the west coast, drowning in the warm shine of the golden foggy sunset. The imposing sight of the caramel ocean could be seen somewhere behind the forest of hills through the glass of his car window, deceiving with the possibility of illusion. It seemed like on the road he was completely alone so there was no need to control the speed. And he wasn't about to.

His blue eyes in the deep furrow were focused on the road just like his hands on the steering wheel. The defined lines of his jaw and cheekbones were tense but held no anger, hinting at the fact that his mind was full of thoughts. He wasn't used to this feeling of lonely freedom so driving through the LA hills in his black Porsche at the high speed seemed like a small escape from the world. And to look at it closer, it really was.

It'd been barely an hour since Marshall Mathers' private jet landed in California but it didn't matter that much. Or maybe, it did but he had no urge to think about it. The reason for this spontaneous trip wasn't as spontaneous as it may have looked at first sight. In fact, it was long-awaited, and that's why he wanted to waste no time. But God forbid he would have admitted that.

It wasn't just about that day. It all started like four or five months before, but he couldn't recall the exact time when it all became normal. Once or twice a month a flight to New York or California, then back to the D, now it was LA again. Wherever _she_ wanted to meet. _The goddamn shame, so what of it?_

Nobody was allowed to know. That was probably the fact that thrilled him so much even though in his own world system it had to be nothing but a convenient hookup. That's what he told himself, that's what it was supposed to be, that's what they agreed on. The only thing that was hard to understand if the flight across the country just to spend a couple of days with her could be a simple desire for a hookup. _Oh, the sanity... Shut the fuck up._

The warm wind from the ocean got into his open window as he leaned back on the seat a little to get out of his thoughts, and driving like that felt a lot more pleasant. There was no way to get rid of the anticipation in his chest, though, and he didn't like it. He didn't like that it all was starting to feel more serious for him, and that was dangerous to realize. _For fuck's sake, she still has a man, and that won't change._

Oh yeah, that was probably the funniest thing to think about. He knew that all of this was her way to make her boyfriend jealous and at first, he was fine with it. She liked to lie about breaking things up with him which was never believable. But Marshall Mathers couldn't call himself a saint too and she was attractive, of course. Maybe that's why every time not giving a fuck about her being in the relationship felt more and more natural. Sometimes it even seemed like there were only two of them. _But only sometimes._

He should've looked at it as just a game. Well, he was trying to. What were all of those flights from state to state around the country if not the chase for the prize he wanted? Except, the first few times it was enough and now it felt like he wanted more. He wasn't sure exactly what that "more" meant. All he knew that everything connected to her name was starting to feel not enough. And perhaps, it was a sign to stop the race but he kept pressing on the gas pedal regardless.

He would've kept that thought leading him but all of a sudden the ringing of his phone right beside him snapped Marshall out of his trance. So, he had no choice but to draw his attention from the scenery, spotting Paul's name on the screen and sighing irritatingly. He kind of forgot to tell everyone where he was going that day. Or maybe, he just didn't want to tell it.

'Yo, Paul, what's up?' he picked up the phone in a semi-calm tone, returning his glance to the road and already knowing what Paul was about to say. But it wasn't like he was used to listening to somebody so all he had to do was to be patient. Or at least, close to it.

'Where the hell are you, Marshall? I've been calling you the whole day. You are not in the studio, not at home, Royce and Porter have no idea about your location too. We agreed to discuss one important label deal last week but you are nowhere to be seen' Paul's rumbling in his ear sounded a little too loud for Marshall's liking and he had to let out an annoyed sound and slow down his car to make a stop. _Shit, should've expected this._

'Yeah, sorry, I forgot about it' he sighed heavily, stopping the car on the curb and feeling a huge desire to hang up. It wasn't like he didn't understand that he was wrong. It was more about the questions that Paul was about to ask. But how can you explain to someone things you can't figure out yourself?

'And what is that supposed to mean? I've been hearing that a lot from you lately. Get your ass to the studio wherever you are, we have some business to deal with' Paul's voice on the other side of the line sounded severe and infuriated, bored with the situation, and somewhere on the back of his mind Marshall was almost glad to make it worse. Well, arguing with Paul always felt like arguing with a parent.

'I can't go to the studio right now' he answered simply, feeling the eagerness to end the call rising inside him. The truth revealing was closer and closer and that was making the conversation seem like a burden. _As if all of this mess wasn't enough._

_'_ What are you talking about? Why?' Paul's tone raised to surprised, and now there was no way to come back. _Now it was a lie or die._

A half-smirk appeared on his lips at this little dramatic joke for a moment, and when it disappeared, he pronounced with no regret:

'Cause I'm not in Detroit'.

Ar first he heard a pause on the other side of the line and suspected Paul hanging up on him in a burst of anger. But that theory was long gone when the familiar tone reached his ears again.

'That shit has become a norm for you by now and I'm getting worried. Not as your manager but as your friend' unexpectedly, Paul's voice turned into a concerned one, and somehow it felt even worse. He needed no lecturing and with Paul it was unavoidable. _Maybe, it was better to hang up from the beginning._

'Once or twice a month you are disappearing somewhere and nobody knows what the fuck is happening'. _Right, cause nobody has to._

'It's not like you are trying to control me, are you?' he couldn't hold the sarcasm back but that was probably the most innocent way to answer. He took a brief glance at his watch only to see that the talk was nothing more than just another delay. As much as he didn't want to admit that, he really wanted to see _her_.

'I'm not trying to control you but you used to make me arrange all your trips and flights and now all of a sudden you do it yourself. Your whole behavior changed' Paul continued, refusing to give up, and Marshall felt like giving it up himself in a few phrases.

'Well, then let's say, I grew up'.

'Not even in a million years, I'd believe that shit' Paul snorted wryly, and probably, that was enough. The sun on the golden horizon behind the hills was starting to set down, coloring it in warm apricot undertones.

'Then you'll have to just stay in the dark. I'll call you as soon as I'll be back to the D' he answered impatiently and hang up before Paul could say something else. His eyes found the hills behind the open car window that the sunset was starting to cover in mild brown shadows. And even though he couldn't see the destination from there, something appealing was about the thought of being close to it. _I'm sorry, Paul, looks like you'll have to wait a little._

The car passed him by, taking Marshall back to reality, and he started the engine again. He never was a fan of expensive things but the black Porshe was moving down the highway of the hills nice and smooth, contrasting with the tension of his body, and only the speed could have balanced that out. _It was close._

The road went up the hills through the private alleys of mansions, and he had to slow down not to miss his turn. The house he was looking for wasn't that high but slightly hidden by the natural shape of the mountain. She picked it this time, and it all felt like one big mystery. Soon the white facade of the high-tech mansion appeared in front of Marshall, and he drove carefully to stop as close as possible.

It got him a little time to park the car near the house and turn off the engine. Taking his phone and the keys, Marshall got out of the Porsche but instead of going inside the mansion, stopped for a moment. Not sure about the real reason for his slowness, his glance landed on the view surrounding the mansion, and he furrowed his eyebrows thoughtfully.

The breathtaking view of the golden hour turned into the dusty light grey fog, covering the hills, but the sky above them was of a champagne color, reminding about the gorgeous sunset, and slowly fading into the grey too. He stood still to watch the scenery in front of him, letting the sight mix with the images of his own worries. Something beautiful and promising was in that scenery as if nothing bad could've happened with the picture like that beside you. _Damn, a hella of a view._

Marshall's thoughts couldn't be about anything else but her. He knew for sure that she was already there, and that felt more than it should've been. There was no sign of another car but she used a driver for such occasions and he'd received her text earlier on the plane.

No matter how much he'd wanted to see her before reaching the meeting place, standing beside his car and knowing that he was so close to making it a reality, there was something disturbing in his chest. It's like he caught himself on a thought that he wanted to postpone the moment of seeing Robyn. Because somehow the delay seemed like a stop before jumping off the cliff.

He planned to use her this time just like any other. Just like she did. It even sounded easy. " _No complexities, just sex"._ He even knew he would've repeated it in her presence a few times to remind both of them what were they for together in that place. Nothing personal, no trust, no affection, no care. And when she would've said her relationship was over again, he didn't have to buy it. And still, the possibility of falling in every existed sense was hiding in the distant colors of the horizon, and somewhere deep inside he knew it was better to sit in the car and leave. _But that would only mean my weakness and her win, wouldn't it?_

His figure in the shadows of the evening in the picture of the hills stood there for a moment and then he turned around, sighing heavily and putting all the worries in his mind aside. The facade of the house now turned grey too, drowning in the soft dark tones. Reaching the steps right before the front door, Marshall reckoned that after all, it wasn't the first time for him to stand in front of the abyss. In fact, it felt better than being safe. And with that thought, his hand touched the doorknob.


	2. Missed you

He carefully opened the door to be met by the silence of the semi-dark empty corridor, a living room area in the white and greyish colors drowning in the last light of the day, and a barely palpable scent of the familiar citrus perfume. Except for that last detail, there was no other sign of somebody waiting for him. _But she was there and that was undoubtful._

Without any more delays, he made his way along the corridor, stopping for a moment near every possible door to take a glimpse inside and then continue with no results. This hiding game was testing his patience not a lot worse than the time they'd spent separately that month. The only thing different was that the closer you get to reach something you want, the stronger is the desire to go crazy, and Marshall wasn't exactly known for holding emotions back. _But where is she?_

The corridor wasn't as long as it seemed at first, and soon, he saw it ending with the huge glass doors to the swimming pool outdoor area. One of the doors was slightly opened, revealing a hint of someone's presence, and he felt an urge to come in and leave without any actual answer why. Perhaps, the thought of her presence behind those glass doors was equally thrilling and exciting. Perhaps, the coming night in the dusty foggish picture of hills was making it harder for him to think clearly. Or to think at all, actually. _Fuck... Whatever._

Marshall made a step, pushing the glass door soundlessly. He could almost be sure there was no one until his glance traveled further and found the slim silhouette standing above the silver now water of the outdoor swimming pool. The first lights of the evening were lit up on the nearby hills, hidden by the dark long shadows, revealing the painfully familiar posture. The posture that refused to leave his mind the whole road here. _Yes. It was her._

'I've told you not to call me! Leave me alone!'

All of a sudden, the silent picture became audible, ruining the atmosphere he found her in. Marshall heard her desperate voice reaching his ears, and saw a phone she was holding with slightly trembling fingers. Robyn was nervous and emotional or at least, that's what he could notice. Even watching her spine, Marshall could feel the tension in her body and the frustration urging to breakthrough. And he would have been surprised but there was no complicated puzzle for him to solve: she was talking to that jerk who probably fucked her up again, and along with anger building up in his body, he caught himself suppressing a disappointed bitter feeling. _Damn, Robyn, same song and dance?_

'No, I'm not in New York anymore. You can look for me for ages, I don't give a fuck...' her voice was strong with feelings and dangerously close to cracking up. Marshall didn't want to admit but despite the contempt, that tone was making his chest heavy. It was like that every time she was hurt by that asshole, and Marshall would've broken that phone in her hands to scoop her in the embrace and hold her tight just to stop that madness. _But she used to come back to him too many times before and that would be foolish._

'I want you to know, you hear me? You ruined everything this time. I'm not coming back!' she snapped passionately, making Marshall swallow something unpleasant on his tongue. He knew he should've gotten used to things like that by now, but somehow, watching Robyn so frustrated and hurt, he couldn't. And that was his problem.

He watched her finishing the call and throwing the phone away on the small table near the pool ruthlessly. Her breath was heavy from the beating of her heart and perhaps, she was about to let her feelings drop into tears. It looked like her body couldn't bear the tension anymore, and that was the only one suitable release.

But as she turned her head mindlessly to look behind her, she spotted his figure leaning on the door. And before he could gather himself and pretend to look unbothered, their eyes met. 

Marshall suddenly felt unprepared, standing in the glass door frame, facing her. The emerald glance of her unreadable and a bit surprised, familiar vixen-like eyes caught him off guard with their unexpected directness. She was especially gorgeous in her little black dress and silver high heels, letting him know she escaped straight from some fancy party somewhere in the luxurious club of New York. Her black raven hair in loose curls was brushing her shoulders tenderly with every little move, reminding him about the softness of her tanned skin, and a diamond necklace on her neck seemed delicate but way too cold for her. The sunset was almost over in LA, giving the champagne-colored sky a few more minutes, and he realized the only risky thing about that image. _Damn, I didn't even know how much I truly missed you._

'I thought you would greet me way better than this'.

His voice came out a little hoarse with a slight hint of mocking, suppressing a sympathetic note in it, and he immediately saw Robyn letting her lips create a weak, distracted smirk in response and turn her body fully to him. There was no way he could've done what he was really thinking of looking at her because they agreed not to be sentimental about it. And of course, a soft gesture would've been too much to handle.

'Sorry, I didn't know you'd come here that _fast_ ' she answered simply.

The emphasis on the last word sounded way too innocent. But it was a stab. A beautiful light well-deserved stab coming from her cherry-colored lips so unthoughtfully. Damn, for real, how could he be so foolish to run to her like that? She probably didn't even think of it but she was right. Marshall really came to see her too fast, and it was a mistake. The horrible mistake, just another proof of all of his thoughts before he'd entered the house. _Yeah, you caught me right off the bat and I should've seen that coming._

'What happened anyway?' he changed the topic in a sarcastic, unmerciful tone, making a grimace and a few steps in her direction. Maybe, it wasn't the best way to talk about it but now he felt a desire for Robyn to feel just like he did. The palms in the background of the sky were only dark silhouettes now, and translucent fog covered the hills almost fully. Her black dress was hugging her body tightly, making her delicate and rebellious at once, and her glance from under the eyelashes was focused on him. _God, why do you have to be so fucking beautiful when I'm supposed to feel nothing?_

'You really wanna know?' Robyn's words sounded calm and even indifferent, even though meant to be pronounced with a tease from the beginning. They failed with the lack of playfulness he suddenly found himself craving to hear, and Marshall caught a familiar feeling of deja vu. She sounded like that every time her boyfriend was fucking her up. Every time she was about to say that it all was over between them. Every time he knew it was better to leave. _Right, trouble in paradise. Again._

'I guess, I already know' Marshall lowered his glance at his shoes, chuckling bitterly and coming to sit down on the unnecessary for a pool area fancy sofa. His pose was relaxed with legs widespread, one of the arms laying on the armpit lazily, and that position gave him the carelessness he needed under her glance. His blue eyes found hers again, and this time he felt more confident. _Okay, baby, I'm set and ready. Lie to me._

'This time everything is different'. _Oh yeah, beautiful._

Her tone was persuasive and her expression a little bit frowned. She made a few steps to where he was sitting, holding his eyes and reading the mocking brightly prominent there. She didn't like that he was so sure about knowing the truth, and perhaps, his glance was the mirror of her own hesitations. Marshall knew she wanted him to believe. No, she _needed_ him to believe to make her feel better. But her phone on the table was a reminder of a brutal reality where she couldn't resist running in circles over and over endlessly.

'I bet' he answered wryly, and that was close to dangerous. He wasn't ashamed to show her the challenge in his eyes, even though the night was too close and it felt like he'd never wanted to touch her more. _Fuck all of it._

'Acting like you are the clever one? What you here for?' she snorted but not as harshly as he expected. Probably, somewhere deep inside Robyn knew he was right about it but just couldn't find any courage to show it. He could see she was exhausted. _And that was his fucking fault._

'I don't give a fuck really, I'm just having fun' he lied simply and easily, satisfied with how it sounded because the real nervousness in his chest felt like a burden. He couldn't get his eyes off her and there was no fun in understanding that. He was deep in lying just like she was, but only for defensive purposes.

'I wish you stopped being so rude' she sighed with a fake pity in her voice and came close to the spot he was sitting on, some wicked thought appearing in her glance as she looked into his blue eyes attentively. Marshall caught her citrus perfume embracing the air around, and his glance made his way to explore her toned legs and the hem of her dress. She smirked, following it.

The next moment she was on his lap, putting her knees on both sides of him, catching Marshall off guard with a lack of permission, deceiving him with this sudden change of mood. Her breath traced his lips with an unexpected, desired closeness as her hands came to lay on his shoulders, and something shameless sparkled in her green eyes. The heat coming from her skin as a result of fading emotions woke up an urge in him to cover it with kisses whatever was the cost. And even though he was about to act indifferent, his hands had a mind of their own, instantly finding her waist.

'I'm not rude, I'm honest' Marshall responded coldly and his tone held no feeling, suppressing his want to bring her the closest possible, to touch her cherry lips in a passionate kiss, and it all resulted in his fingers digging deep into her waist. No lights were on in the house but he could feel her presence way stronger than the picture of her could have given him. She didn't want to look into his eyes for too long, and that was the only thing wrong about it. 'What you, expected me to say that I'm here because I care?'

'I don't know, I think I wish you did a little' Robyn whispered softly, sending a shiver down his spine. She was seducing him with her lips close enough for him to feel her breath but not close enough for a kiss. Her eyes gave him a brief, a bit cunning glance, and she bent her head to leave a road of feathery kisses along his jaw and down the neck, making him close his eyes and move one of his hands up her smooth thigh under the dress. The touch of his wasn't careful or soft, it was eager, and he felt like slowly but surely losing the vital control. _But no, I don't believe the things you're saying._

_'_ If you stopped lying, maybe I would'.

His tone sounded emotionless no matter how hard it was to talk under her touch. But that was the truth, and he was giving her what she deserved. There was no point to play hide and seek because even the fog of the twilight of LA hills couldn't cover the wrong feeling in his chest. Something that wasn't certainly allowed for a fuck buddy.

'You know nothing about my relationship' Robyn's voice changed abruptly this time. A small pause and her lips freezing near his skin.

She raised her head again and her eyes found his, looking unfamiliar and distant. He knew he shouldn't have made it an argument. After all, she called him here for the one thing they were accustomed to. _But damn, I couldn't stand you crying about him._

'Sure, you keep saying I know nothing but can't stop thinking about him calling back again'.

The answer was venomous, right in her face, and he felt the muscles on his jaw tensioning. Robyn's eyes were piercing him with the clearness of their green beauty as it was practically dark around, and the look of disbelief colored her expression. _Yes, girl, I know. I've been watching you stealing glances at your phone since the moment you hang up on him._

_'_ I...' she muttered quietly about to answer when the phone on the small table near the pool ringed again. It all paused there.

Marshall let his lips form a cruel "I've told you so" smirk, letting his hands leave her body as if permitting her to do what she wanted. He knew she wanted to answer that. Well, they both knew it. He'd known it since he'd received her text this morning. He'd known it since their first make out in his dressing room. But he couldn't show any desire to stop her from doing so. _After all, you are not mine, are you?_

The phone kept ringing with some standard annoying ringtone as her eyes were running around his face. Marshall knew it was her inner fight and was betting against himself. The realization was hurtful to the point of funny, and he thought that maybe the abyss was way more dangerous than he expected. If not for the unbearable urge to taste her cherry lips and the fear of showing his emotions, he would have probably left for real.

'Sorry, I need to...'

_Of course._

She lowered her glance in a guilty sigh and stood up to take the call. Marshall had no doubt about it so when she did, an ironic small smile appeared on his features. _Work better in taking things easy, man._

He didn't want to listen to what Robyn was talking about on the phone. It was probably the same bullshit she was telling when he came in. Her fucking boyfriend or whoever he was to her seemed like someone who didn't know what he wanted. He's been rejecting her and taking her back from time to time as if not sure of liking her. Like a doll from an expensive store: hesitating if the price was worth it. _And she was worth it._

_But that's not my business._

Marshall stood up, taking a glance at her figure pacing back and forth near the pool, talking with a frown on her face, and LA was already covered in a foggy but starry night. The lights were barely prominent through the dusty picture of hills, and he turned around not to stare anymore. Something in that sight was way too similar to his own thoughts and looking in the mirror was not that pleasant as it could've seemed at first.

He made his way to the kitchen to find some food she brought for the weekend, and opening the fridge, spotted cans of Red Bull in it. That was maybe the first thing in that house that made his insides warm a little. But it was such an overwhelming contrast to the scene they had, that, thinking about it, he immediately made that feeling leave him as if never been there. _What did it mean anyway when she was talking on the phone with another man?_

Marshall took the Red Bull and opened up a can on the counter, taking his phone from the pocket and noticing dozens of angry texts from Paul, some missed calls from Denaun, Royce, and even a message from his booty call in Detroit. He snorted arrogantly but it was more like an inner joke that blamed his habit for always choosing the most difficult option. _Maybe, they were actually right about me being crazy._

_'_ I think I might need a drink too'.

He heard Robyn's quiet, somehow tired voice behind his back and soon saw her appearing in front of him, putting her hands on the kitchen island as if in a search of support and her shoulders were down, revealing her beautiful vulnerability. It made him think that it would have been actually pretty nice to walk over and wrap his arms around her frame as her eyes found Marshall's face and something culprit-like was in her pupils. Although, he wasn't sure if she was sorry for being like that for real. _It always seemed like you enjoyed it. Hell, Robyn, that's a fucking disease._

_'_ I do need something stronger, though' she added thoughtfully, cracking a small bitter smile at him, and he didn't know if he hated the way she fixed her glossy lipstick or absolutely adored it. It was quiet in the house, and he could hear his own thoughts fighting with each other while all he truly needed was a feeling that they were alone for real. _But he was in her mind permanently so what am I asking for?_

'Well, if you need something stronger, then should've just bought a bottle of whiskey and stayed at home' Marshall answered as carelessly as he could, a harsh note slipping into his tone. That was undoubtedly rude but the things she was doing were much worse. The heavy feeling in his chest refused to leave.

'You are right' she agreed unexpectedly, lowering her glance and then leaving her spot to come closer. Her eyes, her unbearably green, cruel eyes made him look at her again. This time there was an unfamiliar sparkle, and he felt her nails tracing his arm gently, making his body tense and mind craving for more. She parted her lips slowly and added as if apologizing, soothingly, with a deceiving promise in her tone:

'Let's go for a ride better. The night in LA is beautiful, I need to clear my thoughts'.

There wasn't much to say so after a small pause, he nodded mindlessly like a father who gives the child permission to play. She was charming and her presence now felt more important than anything else. And it didn't really matter she never cared enough. Or maybe, it actually did now. _Goddamn, that all felt like one huge mistake._

'Come on, Marshall, you drive!' she threw at him teasingly, and made her way to the door, slightly swaying her hips. _You can be so carefree when you don't talk about him. But unfortunately, you do._

He finished his drink, sighing wryly, and took a glimpse outside the window at the young LA night, taking his keys. He felt how the minutes were already running away, turning into hours, and they had only a couple of days together before another long time break and a new argument with her man. However, following her through the door, for the first time since the beginning, he thought that maybe, he should've broken that circle. The only question was: which way?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey you! Okay, I don't know how to feel about it and for some reason, it was kind of hard to write. I have the whole concept in my head and I have some things planned for you that make me excited to write. But the set up is always the hardest thing in my opinion and matching the vibe, damn. 
> 
> We have a similar type of feelings as it was in "Distraction" but here the situation and circumstances are more tangled so I hope to give you some real action on it, you know? Curious how you all feel about it.
> 
> Anyway, please, leave a like or comment to express your opinion on the chapter and encourage me to continue, post frequently. I always appreciate your feedback so huge thanks to everyone who supported the first chapter🥰 Much love❤️


	3. Faith

Lights. Flash. The unfamiliar highway road going down further and further into the satin starry night, promising no ending. The intoxicating speed reaching higher and higher levels with every sleeping hill passing by and the warm wind brought from the nearby ocean blowing stronger and stronger through the window. There is always a combination of numbers on the speedometer when you can feel your body becoming lighter and the road feeling like one never-ending repetition of the same moment in time. Everything around blurs and the lights are blinding to the point of becoming undistinguished. _But how was it possible that I could feel nothing else but her fucking presence on the passenger seat?_

They didn't even drive that fast as it might've looked at the first sight. But he was feeling the bitter sensation from the conversation they had reflecting in the tight grip of his hands on the steering wheel, making the thought of going over the edge, not that crazy. It was exactly what he didn't want at all so pressing the gas pedal seemed like the worst and the best choice to make. She loved speed, she loved expensive cars. And for some reason, that night, he was willing to give it to her the moment she wanted. _And still,_ s _he was fucking upset about that asshole._

He tried not to look at her too much. She was watching the road running behind the car window with a thoughtful expression on her face and firmly pressed lips. The wind was making her black long hair flying the faster they were going and there wasn't much to add. Except, for her absolute indifference despite the promising tone of her invitation for a ride. _Despite that, she was absolutely beautiful._

It was hard to think about anything else and all he truly wanted was his thoughts to clear up. The idea that popped in his mind before leaving the house was forcing him to fight between the urge to tell Robyn everything about the new heavy feeling in his chest and to sit in the car and go away forever to end the torture. The answer seemed to be lost somewhere in the blinding light of the streetlights along the highway, and he was hoping to catch it as soon as possible. _You won't believe it, but I was getting tired of seeing you that way too._

There wasn't any particular direction for them but he aimed to get the highest possible. With every turn on the highway, Marshall was thinking more and more of her. She was so close but her glance was so distant that he could've talked about it all aloud and she wouldn't have noticed. But he needed to feel her to know the answer. He wanted them to be alone. _To know: to stay with you or leave._

The white high-tech mansions in the grey dusty fog of the night soon could've been barely seen. The hills were completely lonely at the top, creating a beautiful chance to look at LA without anyone watching, and he turned the steering wheel to see the distant lights of the city in the mirror of his car window.

 _'_ I'll make a stop here'.

He spoke so abruptly and neutrally as if they were strangers, slowing down the car. His black Porsche reached the place he'd been looking at just a moment earlier, and by that gesture, Marshall wanted her to understand that whatever was going on in her head had to be left right there from now on. _At least for a few goddamn minutes._

'Sure' she answered seriously, shaking her head as if snapping out from her trance. That wasn't the reaction he wanted as he was starting to get irritated by her behavior and the heavy feeling in his chest was making it only worse. He parked the car and turned off the engine as the night wind brought a taste of bitterness to his tongue. _Hell, Robyn, what you called me for?_

'Should've at least acted like you enjoy this. _You_ wanted to go for a ride' Marshall pronounced in a harsh foreign tone that was only a cover for the real emotions he held inside. He couldn't say anything else except that little light shot to get her attention because that would've been too vulnerable. _Dangerous with you._

'Yes, I...' she mumbled uncertainly, biting her lip, probably still too involved in her own thoughts. And that was apparently far from helpful.

'Right, whatever'.

He threw the words indifferently, getting out of the car and feeling the unbearable desire to have a deep breath. He didn't give her a chance to finish. The breathtaking view of the night city under the hills appeared in front of him, magnetizing the sight with millions of gold and white distant lights, making him sigh unwittingly. _Damn, why does it bother me so much that you care for him? Why can't I just ignore you just like you ignore me?_

'Marshall, come on, I'm sorry'.

He heard her apologizing tone behind his back and couldn't force himself to turn around and look her in the eye. Some of the distant lights were moving here and there, reminding him about the living night in LA, dispelling his patience. And everything else along with it.

'You know, I'm getting bored'.

The words sounded severe and cold as he turned his body to face her green eyes reflecting all of the lights of the city under their feet. All the previous times they'd met to spend time together, he'd never really thought of admiring her eyes. But now, when he could feel that this time might have been the last, Marshall suddenly noticed how piercing and clear they were. _It was a bad idea from the start, wasn't it?_

'I thought we were supposed to have fun' he added as calmly as he could not to show something more. Something she shouldn't have seen. Something he couldn't admit even to himself.

'I know' she sighed heavily, sitting down on the hood of the car carefully. Marshall watched her taking out a blunt and a lighter from her clutch, long smooth legs crossed in mindless action. She lit up the blunt skillfully and let the white smoke coming out of her cherry lips. When she raised her glance again at him, watching her through the scales of the smoke, Marshall could swear that in the distant sounds of the city he could hear her broken record playing:

'I just feel like shit, you know?'

'I'm not gonna be your therapist, Robyn' he scoffed in despise to let out at least some small part of the devastation he was feeling. _Goddamn, you can't be so into him, can you?_

'I don't expect you too' she said somehow emotionlessly, glance traveling somewhere behind him as she made a puff. 'You won't understand anyway...'

'You are just repeating the same phrase every goddamn time' he shook his head in disbelief, letting his tone turn into ruthless and mocking. Her catty eyelashes and black short dress were unnecessary attributes to their conversation because all he wanted was to get closer and steal a touch.

'Because you don't seem to realize what you are talking about' Robyn sighed again thoughtfully. The puff she made was slow and glance distracted.

'Marshall, I _love_ him'.

A stunned frown appeared on his face. Her velvet voice in the dark loneliness of the night hills sounded simple and easy. As if she told him some well-known, uninteresting type of fact, and he felt the heavy feeling in his chest becoming hurtful, poisoning his insides. The anger he'd been holding back just a minute before along with the realization of the words she pronounced turned into the unbearable urge to slam his fist in the hood she was sitting on. He never imagined for those words of hers to ache so much, and something in him clicked. She finished the blunt, lightning it off as if nothing happened. _No, no, no, now you'll hear me._

'Oh, you're saying you love him, huh?'

Marshall pronounced venomously, looking directly into her eyes, a contempt coloring his tone. He made a few steps to appear in a reach of a hand from her, the smell of the smoke from her finished blunt filling the air between them, and he was glad to ignore it. Her glance was much more dangerous than the reminder that he'd been sober for years now.

'I bet you like how he fucks you up every time so you can run away to me and say that you feel like shit'.

His blue passionate eyes full of rage were holding her own green ones, and the sentence was pronounced scornfully as her expression paused, watching him speak. Her body leaned on the hood of his Porsche was lightened by the streetlights and every detail seemed just as precious as the diamonds on her necklace. 

'Even now you sit here smoking so dramatically, making a scene' he let out a soundless snort full of despise. The jealously for her word "love" directed at someone else found the only way out of him. He knew he was breaking the rules but somehow, at that moment, he found himself on the point where he didn't care.

'Because you _enjoy_ everything he does to you' an unpleasant arrogant half-smirk painted his lips.

'Don't you, Robyn?'

He added loudly, feeling his voice strong and tense from emotion, and it was close to shouting. There was an unreadable look on her perfect features, and his breath was fast and unsteady, something he had never actually let himself feel in her presence. Something dangerous flashed in her eyes, and he felt that the moment started to become unbearable.

'Who are you to judge me?' Robyn pronounced somehow angrily, and he caught a venomous note in her tone too. 'You can stand here and say how pathetic I am' her eyes found their passionate spark to them and he couldn't get rid of the thought that the heat from her body was making his pulse go quicker. 'You can say that I'm stupid or foolish for letting someone treat me like that' her voice became trembling and raw with resentment.

'But you have no fucking idea how to love someone who doesn't love you back!'

She snapped way louder and harsher than she expected, chest rising and falling heavily from the eruption of her frustration. She was looking up at him, panting, so close and so tempting for a thought of real touch. Her expression turned into a scowl and her lips were slightly parted. If not the anger that was boiling in his veins, that awful feeling in his chest would've stopped him from doing so. But in her eyes that reflected the gold and white lights of the city, Marshall let that feeling drown for long enough to do what he wanted:

'Oh trust me, Robyn, I have'.

And before Marshall could've thought of it, his lips smashed into hers, silencing her next words.

The action was foolish and completely irrational but it was the only way that could stop the hurt in his chest from going further. All the emotions Marshall held since he'd seen her near the pool talking to that asshole, drove the movements of his hands that instantly found her body. Robyn gasped lightly but didn't even try to fight him off, responding with the same passion and force to it as if she'd been waiting for it just like he did. Her hands reached his neck, giving his tongue permission to meet hers in a heavy breathed open-mouth kiss as his hand slid up her smooth thigh before gripping it tightly and bringing her body closer to his on the edge of the car hood. _Yes_ , I _want you too damn bad, knowing you've just hurt me. How fucked up is this?_

The kiss was angry and passionate, excluding any possibility of worrying about their true feelings, and he didn't want anything else that minute. Finding her lacy lingerie under the dress in eager impatient movements, he wanted her to feel every touch and remember it as vividly as she could. Because in that fucking moment they were alone together. And Marshall caught himself on a selfish desire for her to feel him and _only_ him.

The single thought of her responding to the kiss so actively was driving him crazy, vanishing one month apart and except for her words about loving someone else, there was nothing to stop him from taking her right there and right that minute. But just as he forced her spine to touch the hood of the car, and her nails dug in the fabric of his bomber for any kind of release, he noticed the movements of her lips becoming distant again for some reason. And that was when Marshall realized that kissing him, for a moment...

_She might've still thought about someone else._

'Wait, Marshall...'

She broke the kiss all of a sudden in a breathy whisper as if reading his thoughts. He had to part from her slightly, mentally cursing for making the first move. She should've been the one initiating all of this, that was the unspoken rule. And now she was the one stopping it, showing how much of a fool he truly was.

 _'_ I don't want this, it's only because I'm sad'. _You know, it's funny,_ _because_ _how could it be any other way?_

 _'_ Sure' he let out a bitter small chuckle as her arms were still circling his neck, her face was inches away from his and he could admire her smudged by the kiss cherry lipstick and inhale the scent of her citrus perfume. Everything inside him was screaming to leave after all of it but as long as she was holding him so tightly it seemed like a completely insane thing to do.

_Fuck, I'm so into you and I didn't even know it._

_'_ No, I want you, for real. It's just... Not the right mood' Robyn mumbled, furrowing her eyebrows gently, reminding him of a naughty guilty child, and what a contrast it was to the moment they'd shared just a few minutes before. 'We said too many crazy things to each other' her fingers brushed his cheek tenderly, and maybe, that touch was the only intimate gesture she'd ever made. _Suppose, I wasn't wrong about doing it. Suppose, I noticed you feeling something in the first moment of that kiss._

 _'_ Okay, let's just get out of here' Marshall cleared his throat, pulling away from her completely, and watched Robyn adjusting her dress. Instead of anger, the unfamiliar feeling in his chest warmed up from that single tender touch, ignoring the bitter aftertaste. _You know, I really act that tough but now, when it's better to leave... I just can't._

 _'_ It's hella late' she commented with a small quiet smile when they sat down in the car. He couldn't understand what exactly made Robyn stop the kiss and make that gesture afterward but knowing that he was the reason for her ruined lipstick was intoxicating. So, he couldn't hold back a small smirk. _And it was stupid but we were in the moment._

She wanted him to take her home and even though that house she rented for both of them had nothing to do with it, Marshall didn't start to argue for the proper name. The taste of her lips was still haunting him the whole road back but this time the silence between them wasn't that tense and irritating. He didn't have a proper sleep for a while and neither did she. _Which sounded like a good excuse to leave all the decisions for the next morning._

'I think I'm just gonna take the couch in the living room'.

She spoke a little hesitantly when they entered the house and stopped to take off her shoes. He had to admit that in that short black dress with bare feet on the fluffy carpet of the living room she looked adorable. Especially, when she took off the jewelry of her neck, the black raven hair tracing her shoulders playfully.

'I thought there were enough rooms in this big ass house' Marshall said somehow a bit uneasy, putting both of his hands in the pockets of his cargos and watching her movements. Something inside him wished for Robyn to pick any room in that house but with one simple condition. _We have to be in that room together for the night._

Yeah, kind of...' she chuckled softly, plopping down on the couch and taking her phone out. He knew now that he hated when she did that. Hated when that man appeared in their unstable little world to ruin whatever was good there. 'I guess I just prefer couches and this one is huge' she moved her hands gently along the couch and he envied those movements. He caught himself trying to find an excuse to share with her the same space for a little bit longer. _They say I'm fucking creative, right?_

 _'_ I'm gonna check what's on TV then and go to my normal comfy bed' he snorted as if mindlessly, a small tease slipping into his tone made her lips widen for a small moment. He sat down on the couch next to her, avoiding her glance and finding the remote control. Her eyes were watching his movements as she switched the screen of her phone off. _Finally._

'Okay,' she responded quietly, clapping once to turn off the lamp beside the couch as the colorful light from the TV filled the room. Marshall didn't know if she was annoyed with him staying beside her or really okay with it but it all just felt so normal that he didn't want to lose that feeling. _Fuck, she really said that she loved him, didn't she?_

Marshall?'

He heard her voice speaking to him softly in the background of some football game he found on the TV and turned his head to meet her glance. In the semi-darkness, her eyes were sparkling, sad, and unusually gentle.

'Yes?'

'You don't mind if I...'

But instead of finishing the sentence, her glance dropped on his chest and the next moment he watched her moving closer to him carefully. Her orbs found his own ones again and then he felt her body pressing to his as she laid on her side, putting her arm around his neck, one of the legs bent in the knee resting on him. Her head found comfort right on his chest, surprising him with that sign of sudden affection. 

Perhaps, that time she was hurt like no other while genuinely speaking, all Marshall needed was to feel her next to him. So instead of acting distant and indifferent, he put his hand on her waist, bringing her closer, and when her fingers stroked his neck tenderly, he rested his chin on her head protectively. The football game on TV was going continuously, but he paid no attention. And when he heard her breath becoming calm and steady in a few long minutes, Marshall turned the TV off, dissolving his thoughts in the darkness of LA night and the feeling of her presence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, folks, how is it going?🌝 I'm afraid we are going a bit overdramatic here but I felt like it would suit the concept. The beginning of the chapter is also inspired by the song "Faith" by The Weeknd so don't be shy to put the first 2 minutes of it at the start. Not for the lyrics but for the vibe.
> 
> Curious about your thoughts on the plot and just the general feelings on it all. How do you think it will all evolve?
> 
> Anyway, please, leave a comment or like to express your opinion on the chapter and encourage me to continue, post frequently. Much love❤️

**Author's Note:**

> Well, well, well. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to everyone reading this!🥰I decided to give it a try. Was super inspired and excited to work on this so I hope that you liked it too.
> 
> What are your thoughts on this little introduction? We'll get to the action in the next chapter but I just wanted you to feel the vibe of it.
> 
> Anyway, please, leave like or comment to express your opinion on the chapter and encourage me to continue and post frequently. In the beginning, it's very important. Huge thanks in advance. Much love for you all❤️


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